Northern_Lights_2014

“I don’t care why you girls are fighting, but it ends now. If I so much as see you fighting with each oth- er, I will send you to the principal and call your parents. You all have to play with each other, do you under- stand?” she said eyeing us all. Most of the girls instantly put those fake smiles on, and agreed. As I reached the gym, clutching my backpack closer, I realized that the coach wasn’t there yet. In a blind panic, I hurried over to the ‘ladder climb’ that was on the wall and tossed my bag between the bars that looked like a vertical monkey bar attached to the wall. I hoped that since I was taller than most of the girls, that they wouldn’t be able to pull it out as easily. The gym was small, old, and some of the ceiling tiles had been taken out by kicked balls at various points over the years. In the southeast corner, halfway up there was an opening in the wall that you could look into the gym from the hallway that I had just passed through moments before. I could hear their giggles, and if they had been wolves or dogs, they would’ve howled upon finding their prey, but these were hyenas. They laughed through the bars meant for safety purposes, a feeling of caged dread clenched at my chest. They con- tinued their calls for the girl to pee on my bag. I stood there praying, hoping, and wishing that someone would come to save me. But as their heavy footsteps echoed down the hallway towards me, I knew it was hopeless. They swooped in on me, and within seconds, they began trying to pull the bag out from behind the bars. I hurried to save it before they got a hold of it, but then their attention was no longer divided between me and my bag. They circled me, trying to snatch it from my grasp, like the cackle was biting my heels, waiting to devour their prize. So I finally did what I al- ways did, I ran. Sobbing and running down the hallway with the barred opening to the gym, I could hear their laughter echo. I paused as I saw the principal walking calmly down the hall towards me, but as I ran past she didn’t say a word. I wasn’t going to tattle, because I’d seen what good that does. It’s one thing to be found out, but it’s another to tell. Several years later, after I graduated and moved away, I came back to visit my family. My little brother was telling me about a meeting his class had been called to, where the teacher had asked if they thought bully- ing happened in their school. He told me that they had all said no, and I could just imagine the fake smiles of the girls in my class as they assured the teachers that bullying didn’t happen here. I knew what hid in locker rooms, hallways, and behind closed doors, secrets. I was angry then, but as time changes, so do people. Now I accept that those girls have changed. Once during my senior year, when I brought up the inci- dent to the girl who had threatened to pee on my bag, she was shocked and told me she didn’t remember it. She apologized profusely, and as hard as it was, I’ve come to accept what happened and forgive them. I have to, because if I don’t believe that they can change, then I can’t either. I’m stronger now. I won’t be prey for hyenas, but I won’t become a hyena either. I’m a wolf. Back to Contents 40