Northern_Lights_2017

48 ‘How much I love you...’ Bethany whimpered softly as she pushed away the thought of losing Peyton, the girl’s vitals all seeming to go back to normal. Well, as normal as they had been. She watched the nurse leave, telling the young girl not to get her hopes up about the other waking up and talking to her. An understanding of the situation came to Bethany as she looked down at how pale Peyton looked. She wasn’t going to make it. There wasn’t a chance that she would. She was a vegetable and the rage that was building in her heart was nothing compared to the overwhelming sadness that was consuming her. It was her fault. She could’ve prevented it. She could’ve made sure her girlfriend was okay. ‘Please don’t take...’ The night was spent by the hospital bed, telling stories and remembering all the happy times they had together. She wanted to remember every single moment she had with Peyton for the rest of her life, even if it was a major improbability. She wasn’t going to always remember them but she was going to try. She stayed that way for the next few nights, telling stories and holding her girlfriend. She needed to make sure she was comfortable when she went, knowing now that it was inevitable. She couldn’t make Peyton live; she couldn’t wish on enough stars or spend enough money. She was just stuck watching the girl pass away slowly, painfully. ‘My sunshine away...’ When she finally passed on, it was while Beth was singing to her, having brought in her guitar. She was singing ‘You are my sunshine’ to Peyton, tears streaming down her face as she just dealt with the fact her girlfriend was gone. She wouldn’t have late night cuddles, cooties and video games, or any of her properly made Chinese meals. She set her guitar down as Peyton flatlined again, moving and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. She covered her up with the blanket, up to her shoulders as she felt tears falling. The nurses came in slowly, knowing they couldn’t do anything to save Peyton. Looking at the girl as they unplugged the machines, they gave her a sad smile and told her they were sorry. ‘Please don’t take...’ No one thought that at 25 she would have lost the love of her life, but she had. No one expected her to find the love of her life at the age of 19, but she had. And now, she didn’t know what she was going to do. Was she just supposed to let it happen, let everyone tell her they were sorry for her loss? Or could she find a way to spend her life happy, even if she spent it alone. She wasn’t one for drinking away her problems or sleeping with random people to make it all better. But maybe this time that was the option she needed to go with. Drinking could fix things, right? Drink herself into a stupor where she passed out and could forget all of her problems until the next night. ‘My sunshine away...’ No. She wasn’t one to drink, especially not after something like this. Slowly, she pulled the little jewelry box out of her pocket and popped it open. Inside there was a ring, one she’d planned on using to propose to Peyton the night of the accident. She’d never get a chance to ask her to be hers forever. Maybe that’s what hit her hardest, the fact she would never have Peyton as her wife. She would never have the pleasure of coming home to Peyton as her wife and telling her about her day. She wouldn’t even have any more videogame sessions with the girl. With one last ‘I love you,’ Bethany was forced to leave the room so they could take the body away. She broke down as soon as she got to the front doors, her crutches slipping out from under her as she fell into a fit of sobs. They wracked her body, the nurses trying to calm her down but she shoved them away, standing and forcing herself to leave the building. She couldn’t take it anymore. And while she was on her way out, she was so focused on stopping her crying, she moved right into the path of a car. End.