Northern_Lights_2017

86 Three minutes later I stepped through my door and into my house. I placed my shoes on the clothes organizer and turned on the automatic book reader that was sitting on my counter. “A little narration couldn’t hurt the medication,” I thought, so I picked it up and carried it into the next room with me. After clearing a space in the center of the room, I sat down and laid everything out in front of me on the soft carpet. It was small and light, but I was sure it would work. It had to work. Slowly I opened the lid and removed the small piece of cardboard that covered the contents. On top was a small white bottle of pills with the words “Warning: Scopolamine B, take as Directed.” I picked it up and set it aside. “Pills were pills,” I thought, “and they weren’t nearly as exciting the rest of the box.” Under it lay a piece of wood shaped like an “X.” The only difference was that one leg was longer than the others. This was undoubtedly the medication that the computer screen mentioned, but how could this help? It was definitely made of wood, but it had been painted white. I looked all over it for a button or a speaker but there was nothing. Puzzled, I laid it down next to the pills and reached for the final object in the box. It was a booklet of some kind, along with a set of earphones. On the cover in big lettering it read, “Your Personal BBL Medication Booklet,” and right under that, “Please attach your customary book reader and the earphones provided for you.” My excitement was renewed. Finally, this was something both exciting and recognizable. I smiled to myself as I picked up the device and attached it to the booklet and earphones. The screen on the front lit up and showed the name of the book along with a “play” Icon. I pressed it, placed the device next to the book, and sat still. A soft female voice said, “Hello, welcome to your new personal BBL treatment booklet. If you are listening to this, you have been diagnosed with an easily treatable case of DePr. If you have prescribed medication, please take one unit now.” I quickly fumbled open the pill bottle and shook one small capsule into my hand. After inspecting it, I popped it into my mouth, set the bottle down, and waited for the voice to give me further instructions. Eventually the female voice came back and said, “This BBL booklet is a modernized version of the true revelations of old times, and it holds the key to living not only a happier life. So let’s start at the beginning.” There was a pause, and then the man’s voice came on again. “Do you find yourself feeling lonely?” It said. “Are you tired all the time, or feel like the old things that you used to enjoy don’t work anymore? If so, then you only need one simple thing.” Yes! I thought, This is finally what I’ve been waiting for. “You, Joseph Carson, need God.” The tape then paused for bit. God? I thought, What was God? Was it a prescription the doctor had forgotten to give me? I reached for the pill bottle to check whether or not that was an ingredient, but before I could touch it, the voice started again. “God is above you. In fact, he has always been above you. He sees and knows all, and has been watching you, Joseph Carson. Yes, he knows your name. He has realized that you are special, and has given you this BBL booklet, to make you aware of him.” I looked down at the open book on the floor. Hadn’t the doctor given it to me? Was I mistaken? Perhaps God had been in the back room or something. “Now you are probably thinking, ‘If I’m special, then why have I gotten sick?’ Well, the truth is, Joseph, that you have Sinned. Sinning is when you do something that God doesn’t like. It can be anything really, but for some reason God doesn’t approve of it. Because of this, your happiness gets taken away. That is why you feel sad. That is why things don’t seem to work anymore, or why your life seems lackluster. Don’t worry, though; happiness is just one step away.” The tape cut out for a second, and then the female voice came back on. “At this moment, please pick up your prescribed ‘X’ and hold it in front of you.” I looked over to where I had laid it, and skeptically did as the voice instructed. “This is called a cross,” said the woman’s voice. “Crosses help take away sin. You see, there was a time when too many people sinned, and so God’s son died on the cross to take away everyone’s unhappiness. That’s why you’re happy up to this point. Don’t worry, though; no one needs to die to make you happy. All you need to do is pray. Praying is where you ask God to take away your sins and make your life happy again. Let’s try together now. Close your eyes, hold your cross, and repeat these words.” I closed my eyes and waited for the command. “Dear heavenly father,” the voice started, and I repeated the words as they were said: “Thank you for giving me the chance to repent. Thank you for showing me the way, and will you please, though I am a sinner, forgive me of these evils, and return me to the happy normality of faith? If I die, may I be granted with the eternal peace that awaits all of God’s loyal followers.” Again, the tape stopped. I hadn’t realized until now. But an orchestra had been playing in the background. It was slow and light, and when the woman stopped talking, the recording paused to let the final chord draw to a close. “Congratulations,” said the woman’s voice. “You have been forgiven. Your sins have been lifted off your shoulders. He has lifted the punishment of sadness and everything will be back to normal.” Again, the pause came, and again the man’s voice returned, “Thank you for listening to the first treatment of the BBL booklet. If your symptoms persist, please return to your doctor to receive the second BBL booklet. Thank you and have a wonderful day.”