22 Autumn McDonnel If I want to get better, I need to get this off my chest. My therapist recommended it to me; hopefully this will help me rest. At first, I thought she was crazy, but now I think she’s right. I think I need to remind you about that November night. I thought that I could trust you, yet you took advantage of me. My body froze and I couldn’t breathe; I couldn’t break free. I called out for help as your hand held its grip around my hair. Nobody heard me and you said they wouldn’t care. I begged you to stop and I pushed your hand away. You forced me into one spot and told me to stay. Salty tears rolled down my face and you whispered in my ear, “Be a good girl for daddy. Look up at me.” You reeked of beer. You refused to finish until I stopped crying, And your only response was, “Quit with the whining.” By the time you grew tired of me, I was shaking. I was a mess, and I felt like the world around me was breaking. You know you got away with what you’ve done to me. I still suffer daily, and sometimes I wonder if you feel guilty. Maybe you don’t remember that night, or maybe you do, But do you think about me as often as I think about you? Now I take three pills a day to help me move on. I second-guess myself sometimes and think I was in the wrong. Some mornings I look into my mirror and all I can see Is a girl who used to be so innocent, staring back at me. My therapist claims that I need to learn how to cope. I’ve never believed in miracles, but I continue to hold onto hope. I pray that I never have to see you again, but if by chance I meet your sight, I hope my eyes remind you about that November night. november night
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